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Sunday, April 29, 2012

Trigger 3

Oh god oh god oh god oh god I lost her number I lost the number OF THE ONLY FUCKING PERSON WHO CAN CALM ME DOWN why the fuck is this happening this can’t be happening why is this happening it’s not fair I need to talk to her oh god oh god oh god why the fuck is this happening.

Trigger 2

Why can’t I trust anyone again. Why is this happening AGAIN. I want to trust. Why can’t I trust. God damn it just when I was getting better this shit has to happen. I thought I was over this. Why can’t I be over this. Please dear god. I need to be over this. Please. I want to trust again why am I so fucking weak that I’m even letting him get into my existence I don’t want him here get out of my head get out of my head I wanna forget why can’t I forget why can’t I forget?
Someone get me a fucking razor.

Trigger

Why is this happening why is it that everything has to come crashing down again I lost my grandfather and my may-as-well-be-sister cousin my mom hates me my step dad hates me everyone hates me and I’m just a selfish bitch for complaining and I hate myself for it and please dear god nobody see this I don’t fucking deserve to live I’m just like my father aren’t I I’m just like my fucking father I’m a liar and a hypocrite and I should just fucking die and I don’t want to be anymore I don’t want to try I just want to stay in my house for the rest of my life I don’t want anyone to know I exist and I want to stay in here and starve to death because I’m so fucking fat I don’t deserve to eat and I am so fucking ugly I’m not a good person I’m a horrible person I’m too afraid to call my best friend because I would make her leave too and I’m sick of being alone but I just want to be alone can someone please just fucking kill me already why do I have to be so useless why do I have to hurt everyone it’s not fair it’s not fair it’s not fair why why why why why why why

Thursday, April 26, 2012

my head hurts my brain hearts my chest hurts my heart hurts i cant think i xant fucking think oh my god i dont want to be here i dont want to e anywheerwwew cant i justg fdukcking dsiadppeaer i diotn want to i d[pnt wanst to i dont wa tn tooh mty gpd [plesswe somkeone ednd ethings shit