"Very Good Job."

I'm still alive.
Also, I'm working my ass off.
Fucking FCAT in a few weeks.
I'm not worried but...
This means less time to work on SoG.
And I'm out of school in 11 weeks.
And I really want to get the first volume published before my brother gets down this summer.
Because Brennan has always kind of been a "Well Done Son Guy" for me.
You know, for lack of a better term.
I really want him to be able to acknowledge me for doing something big.
I want him to tell me I did a good job.
"Yes, yes, very good job, Zoe."
With that smirk.
That always-there false sarcasm.
And I'd brush it off.
"Haha, yeah, thanks."
 Say it snarky.
Say it like it's nothing.
But I'd really be happier than ever.
"Yes, yes, very good job, Zoe."
That's what I want.
That's what I want more than anything.
Call it cliche.
Whatever.
I just want my big brother to be proud of me.

Symbols

My soul is yellow, red, and blue, living like a butterfly in a feild of roses.

I am me, me I am. I love me for me, and anyone else who wants to join in is welcome.

My symbols are tributes to those I love. My grandfather gave me a bunch of yellow, red-spattered roses not too long ago. I started drawing my Blue Butterfli after spending time with my cousin Barb. Both of these became so much more to me. They became part of who I am.

Roses are raw emotion. Yellow for freindship, spattered with the red of love, passion...blood. My blood, my spirit.

A butterfly, free to do as it wishes, a symbol of change, beauty... Fragile...

As Sylvia Plath wrote many times, "I am, I am, I am".